We fill the days balancing land-based and traditional knowledge with education that will be required in the public school system, in order to prepare her. It’s an intermingling of her mother-tongues and what our people have been practicing for generations, along with the science of the natural world, mathematics that connect to daily living, and fuelling our bodies with a kinship to the land through substantive hours outside. She knows how to set snares, how to make the soup from the wapoose we do get (this means rabbit in Anishinaabemowin), and how to give back to the land after receiving such a gift.

Despite our fragmented Internet connection, we also signed up for classes through outschool.com, and began to hear from other Indigenous families online about what their homeschooling experiences have been like during the pandemic.

Dad of six Brent Achneepineskum, one of my relatives back home on Pays Plat First Nation in northwestern Ontario, switched to homeschooling at the very beginning of the pandemic in order to keep his children and his older family members safe. Their family consists of six children, four of which he homeschools. He has interwoven a multi-generational, pre-colonial approach to education and homeschooling with the kinship of his own father, Jack Achneepineskum, who helps teach some of the younger children about the land, life itself, and how to be a good human. 

Living in a small community in northwestern Ontario comes with its challenges, including the often choppy wifi that cuts out for days on end. But the Achneepineskum family navigates around it daily with the integration of hands-on activities and old-school classroom teaching. They take the kids out for walks on the land, conduct science experiments with household ingredients, and integrate traditional teachings.

Brent made the difficult decision to leave his job and stay at home in order to give his children this high-quality educational experience—a privilege he knows many people can’t afford. His time at home with his kids has helped him assess each of his children’s learning styles and realize how the mainstream education system may not have identified their strengths and weaknesses. “The larger education institutions are failing Indigenous kids,” he says.

Pre-COVID, his children attended a public school in the small town of Schreiber, a 30-minute bus ride away each day. At school, many of their Indigenous cultural practices were never mentioned. But at home, his kids receive customized lessons based on their individual skill levels. Brent says their creativity, independent thought processes, problem-solving skills, and time management have all improved exponentially. “And as I learn more about each of my kids, the bond we have as parent and child gets stronger.”

Many Indigenous families like Brent’s (and mine) have been able to use this time at home to weave traditional living into the educational experience—something our kids wouldn’t normally receive in the public school system. Hunting, fishing, trapping and Indigenous language exercises are now all a regular part of their routine. They’re getting lessons on how to harvest an animal and utilize as much of it as possible. Brent’s family is currently learning the art of brain tanning hides to make clothing. (This is a traditional method of preserving and softening a hide with the animal’s brain.) 

“The children have formed a deeper connection to their ancestors and the land,” says Brent. “They’re becoming more self-aware of their identity as young Ojibwe men (Anishinaabe). And they’re so proud of it. In fact, they feel sorry for others who are not connected as deeply to Mother Earth.”

This is something that resonates with many Indigenous families who have been making big decisions about schooling and work/life balance during the pandemic. These lifestyle adjustments are being made across our communities, with a shift to a “new” way of living that’s actually, for us, a very old, traditional way of living.

In the past, our ancestors never really saw children as a nuisance, or as getting in the way of daily living or work. They simply saw children as being present to learn their roles and responsibilities as they grew up, working and learning alongside adults. 

I’d argue that before COVID, capitalism and colonial systems were in the way of us fully connecting with our children. In our traditional kinship systems, our children were always with us. Babies were attached to our breasts, our backs, or our hips, as we did what we had to in order to survive. Now that we’ve seen this firsthand, we’re starting to create spaces for children to thrive while we work from home and homeschool our children at the same time. We are noticing a deep resurgence of the knowledge that has existed within our families for generations, and it’s magical.

The pandemic has showed us that we are strong enough to balance it all, and the concept of continuing to homeschool post-COVID is huge for many Indigenous families. I’m seeing lots of conversations about creative approaches to home-schooling in Facebook groups such as Indigenous Motherhood.

It’s also important to remember the context and history of Indigenous education, and residential schools. The connection to grandparents plays a huge role in preparing children for life, long-term. For Brent’s father, Jack, the impacts of residential school, and his own experiences of attending those schools, still trickle into his life and into his children’s lives. Being the mishomis (grandfather) for his grandchildren and teaching them what he knows about life is the closest he can come to feeling grounded. He has reflected on his own life lessons and mistakes he made in the past. He says that the opportunity to teach and share life with his grandchildren has created shifts in his life that he didn’t think were possible.

Now that the vaccine has made its way into many of our communities, many of our elders, and moshums and kokums, have received it. On Poundmaker Cree Nation, members of the 60-plus age group have all been vaccinated, and back home in my own community of Pays Plat First Nation, elders will receive their vaccines in the coming weeks, along with immune-compromised individuals. Many of my older relatives say that they feel protected now, but they will continue to live in safe ways. People on our reserve are still masking and social distancing. We miss travelling to pow-wows , dancing with friends and relatives, and enjoying time with loved ones on the land. But there is gratitude that the vaccines are here. Now it simply comes down to seeing some long-term, lasting results.

This spring, I am thinking more and more about what it means to have a relationship with our homeland, because we cannot travel. We are staying put. We have time to grow our own food, and to teach ourselves practices from generations ago, like crushing and drying chokecherries for snacks, snaring rabbits, digging up prairie turnips, and doing everything we can to let the land know how deeply we love her. We can continue the practice of revitalizing, and restoring, Indigenous practices that have worked for our families for generations—that is exactly what our families, communities, and nations need.

The land knows what it is doing. And as Indigenous peoples, we trust that every single day.

The post What it’s like to raise kids on the rez during a pandemic appeared first on Parenting Boss.

Before the pandemic, I did school drop-offs with minimal fanfare: a quick hug for the kid, maybe a brief wave to the teacher, and I’d walk home with the family dog. After school, my daughter would beg for playground time and, after giving her 20 minutes to swing on the monkey bars or run amok with the other monsters, I’d have to drag her home, kicking and screaming.

This year, I’m the one being dragged home at the end of the day.

“Mommmmm!” my daughter whines, grabbing my hand to pull me away from my parent pals. “I want to go home now.” She’ll sigh and roll her eyes if I beg for more time.

“How about five more minutes? Puh-lease, honey?”

If I’m lucky, she takes pity on me and returns to her friends to play a little longer, but if she’s feeling especially tired or hungry, she’ll grumpily turn on her heels and start walking home without me. “Ugh,” I’ll say to my friends. “I guess I have to go home now.” Then, I will do my best not to have a tantrum and embarrass my eight-year-old.

This year, it’s like I’ve been let out of my crate. Since my kid resumed in-person classes in September, my normally shy and somewhat reserved public persona has been replaced by “COVID Cait,” who is uncomfortably outgoing and will sidle up to practically anyone lingering around the Grade 2 doors for a conversation (while wearing a mask and remaining at least six feet away, of course). After the morning bell, I linger for 15, 30, 60 minutes or more, chatting with the many parents I’ve gotten to know a little, or a lot, since the fall. And after school, I beg my daughter to play with her friends while I play with mine. 

(In Edmonton, where I live, school playgrounds are open to the general public after school hours, and parents are permitted to hang out a bit after pickup. Our school yard happens to be a relatively large, unfenced one, with plenty of space for parents to distance.)

These grownups are saving my sanity (and maybe my social skills) during COVID-19. At a time when I feel disconnected from my friends and family, I feel almost normal having a circle of adult friends and friendly acquaintances at school. As time has passed, I’ve realized I’m not the only one turning to other parents at school for social connection. One day this winter, a bunch of us were at the toboggan hill behind the school and someone said, “You know, hanging out with you guys after school is my entire social life.” I laughed, because it was so very true for me, too. Painfully, painfully true.

A lot of the parents I’ve gotten to know have found themselves with more time to hang out at the school than in previous years, thanks to the pandemic. They’re working at home or unemployed, for the most part, so there’s less stress over timing your commute down to the minute and rushing for drop-off and pickup, then racing home to do dinner and homework. I never had a long commute—our house backs onto the field behind the school—but I still hadn’t really socialized with other parents until this year. I think it was a combination of shyness (which I’ve experienced since childhood), anxiety about homophobia (I’m a queer mama), and feeling socially awkward (I’ve been a work-from-home freelancer for so long, I worry it’s eroded my social skills).

But this year, it’s also about the solidarity we crave—the need to connect and vent and ask each other, “You guys, too?” as we all navigate months of pandemic parenting, and its related challenges and weirdnesses. 

If pandemic loneliness is a problem for the quieter, more introverted parents among us, it must be doubly hard for extroverts like Sarah Melo, a mom in Brantford, Ont. When COVID-19 hit, she had to suddenly close her home-based daycare, and shift to homeschooling her kids (five and nine) with her husband, who wasn’t working at the time. Although she’s grateful her family was relatively unscathed by the pandemic, Melo misses her friends and her old routine—she loves being surrounded by activity.

When the kids resumed in-person classes in September, she was more than a little eager to return to her usual “gate dates” with other parents at school, and she also likes to bring what she calls “stray” parents into the fold, often by asking how they’re doing during the pandemic.

“It’s an easier ice breaker than, ‘Hey, it’s kind of cold out today, huh?’” she says. This year, her parent group has become bigger in large part because these strays—folks like me who didn’t previously socialize at school—are choosing to linger. “Especially since we can’t see the people we want to see, we open up a bit more to the people we have to see,” she says. 

I’ve always been a bit prone to verbal diarrhea and oddly comfortable over-sharing personal stuff with others—that’s the writer in me, I think. But I’ve been seeing this more and more with the parents at school. Conversations often turn to the things we’ve lost during COVID, like job security, health, relationships, a sense of safety, and so much more.  

One warm fall day, I was sitting on the grass with our dog, watching my daughter on the playground, when another mom sat next to me. We didn’t know each other well and she’d always seemed a bit guarded, but that day, we chatted like old friends. She was a divorcée, like me, and had two kids, including a son who’d been in classes with my daughter. She told me about her live-in boyfriend moving out during the spring and the heartbreaking decision she’d made to give away the children’s puppy. I nodded, sympathizing; my own relationship had been cracking under the weight of COVID. Then she stopped abruptly. “I’m so sorry—I’m not sure why I’m telling you this,” she said.

She may have felt uncomfortable, but I wasn’t. In fact, I was pretty delighted that she’d be so vulnerable with me. This is the stuff meaningful human connection is made from. 

As spring starts to bloom and the end of the school year approaches, we’re all waiting to see how bad the third wave will be, and what the combination of new variants, relaxed restrictions, and a slow vaccine rollout will mean. But I’m starting to optimistically imagine a future where we needn’t wear masks or stand six feet apart at all times. 

Whatever happens in the months to come, I’m crossing my fingers and toes that I keep these new parent pals. Feeling connected to the school community has brightened my outlook more than I could’ve imagined and, honestly, I’m a better parent for it.

Plus, there’s something pretty great about making my kiddo drag me home from the playground at the end of the day, instead of the other way around.

The post My entire social life is other parents at school pickup appeared first on Parenting Boss.

“I’m just, so, tired,” I said to my husband, staggering toward the kitchen table and tenderly sitting down. The pain from the emergency C-section a week ago still felt fresh, and the demands of an extremely hungry newborn left me feeling perpetually hungover.

“I’m tired too,” he said.

Those words sent me into a rage.

I felt the heat rising from my hips, where I was sitting across from him eating dinner (a dinner he made, I should note). I stood up, furious, speechless: My teeth meeting like magnets, the pressure radiating along my jaw.

He was tired? I didn’t see his breasts swelling and leaking milk at a pace only rivalled by a fire hydrant. And I didn’t see him changing a bandage from an emergency C-section in between tidying up the house. ALL WHILE KEEPING OUR FIRST-BORN HUMAN ALIVE. I mean, how could he possibly be tired? I had earned The Most Exhausted Person in the House Award.

I harboured that fury, holding onto it like a precious stone and then wielding it like a weapon, whipping it out during arguments, at a speed few baseball pitchers could rival. I would randomly pull it out during fights about who does what, letting him know that, in fact, I was the more tired one—I worked harder!

And just like that, I began to resent my husband.

Going from near blissful—“Wow, won’t this be so exciting: a baaaaybeeee!”—to begging and pleading with the universe for a night that would bring a mere two hours of consecutive sleep was a shock to our systems. We were hormonally unbalanced new parents, who felt like we were, at times, flailing—or even failing. For some absurd reason, felt like now was the time to start keeping score. My mind wandered, comparing our workloads—laundry, dishes, feeding, diapering, storing too-small clothes, making doctor’s appointments, giving vitamin D drops, re-stocking medicine, managing milestones. I felt like I was handling the majority of the home chores and the baby, although I don’t know why I was surprised. I had been forewarned about this by just about every female friend I had.

But with time, sleep and some improved communication about each other’s needs, we fell into a more balanced groove, adapting to our new roles as cleanup crew (me) and line cook (him) for our son, now a curly-haired tornado of a toddler.

Until baby number two arrived, and suddenly there were double the diapers, messes, and mouths to feed. I reached a boiling point one night when I was figure skating in my daughter’s diarrhea in the wee hours of the morning this past winter. I was huffing and puffing, sending telepathic messages to my husband (who was all cozy and fast asleep in the next room), expecting him to rush to my side with a hand mop, natural floor cleaner, and gallons of sympathy in hand.

But all he offered was a snoring symphony from the next room.

When I brought up what happened the next morning, frustrated and confused as to why he didn’t come to my rescue, he retorted with, “You didn’t ask.”

Cue the silent rage.

When I ring up Lindi Lazarus, a child and family therapist in private practice in Toronto, she assures me that it’s normal to feel some resentment toward your other half after you have a child (or two). “It’s a major identity shift for all parents,” she says, as I feel the cortisol starting to lower. “There’s increased demand from your children with less time for sleep, sex and yourself.”

When I bring up the diarrhea dance, she sympathizes with my frustration. “You wish he could just figure it out, and it’s not unusual to feel that way even when he can’t read your mind.” I smile to myself, feeling validated. “But,” she starts, “it’s important to be clear on what the expectations are, which will prevent resentment.” My smile fades.

Prevention. I’m adept at doing things in the rest of my life to keep the walls from crashing down: I meal-prep quinoa on Sundays to avoid a refined carb crash at the office during the week, I meditate to keep my stress from exacerbating my fine lines, but when I think about vocalizing my expectations to prevent a larger argument later, I fall silent. I guess I imagine that after 18 years together, he should know exactly what I want at all times. And sometimes he is quite good at responding to my needs before I vocalize them.

But, I wondered: Is there a way to communicate my expectations of him without sounding like I’m delegating to a junior member of my team? There is, says Lazarus. Be specific about what you need from him rather than focusing on something that feels like a critique, she advises. “Instead of saying, ‘you never help me,’ try saying, ‘I am very overwhelmed right now. Can you please give the baby a bottle for me?’”

In my heart, I know that every time I ask for help using clear language and avoiding judgmental hyperboles, he’s happy to help, and, to my recollection, has yet to refuse to a request. And he is constantly praising me for all of the things I do—but sometimes, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, my mind relentlessly itemizes the negatives, which have a way of eclipsing all of those kind comments.

But I’m motivated to work on better communicating our feelings in order to model that behaviour for my kids (and, of course, to strengthen my marriage), so Lazarus suggests I explore emotion coaching, a parenting technique that helps children identify their feelings. “It’s funny how we have so much empathy and compassion for our kids, but we forget to validate how our spouse is feeling too.” Essentially, the three-step process involves giving immediate attention to the other person when they’re experiencing a big feeling, labelling the feeling they’re experiencing and then identifying what led to that emotion surfacing.

So now, when I hear him say he’s tired (he finally feels safe saying that again, after I declared it a mot non grata for so long), I force myself to recognize that he too might actually be tired!  I’ve worked on showing empathy while articulating things that might exhaust him too—a full-time job where he is constantly on his feet, chronic knee pain and a long commute—and, of course, recognizing that he is a huge help with the kids in a myriad of ways.

Lazarus reminds me that these short years are a temporary glitch in the grand scheme of things. And I’m certain that this period—when we are in the thick of responding to the needs of our tiny, beautiful humans, with a little less time and patience for one another—will strengthen the bond we’ve built, and deepen our ability to empathize.

Before I know it, our two children will no longer be young, and I’ll be looking back at these sleep-lite, poo-dense years with rose-coloured glasses and tears streaking my face. And who will hopefully be sitting across from me during dinner, with the wild years of parenting our minis behind us?

My darling husband. And I’m sure he’s going to be a lot more tired then.

This article was originally published online in November 2018.

The post I just had a baby—why do I suddenly hate my husband? appeared first on Parenting Boss.

If missing birthday parties or not going to the movies really bugs you, remember that for parents of kids with disabilities, it’s always been this way.

The post When the pandemic is over, my family won’t go “back to normal” appeared first on Parenting Boss.

“What would I do if I had an hour with no balloons making fart noises into my hair during an interview? I don’t know, it sounds dull.”—Catherine Reitman

Catherine Reitman opted to show, not tell, and we can only imagine what ridiculous antics her sons came up with when she was running the Workin’ Moms writers room on Zoom…

Creator and executive producer Catherine Reitman is a mom of two and plays “Kate Foster”, a mom of two and advertising exec, on Workin’ Moms.

“We are all zombies and a bit grumpy, but somehow still laughing.”—Dani Kind,

I have two high energy, loud, loving boys with big personalities and we live in a very small apartment in Toronto with our dog. Our current quarantine homeschooling days typically look like:

5:30 a.m.

Them: “Mama, can I get up now? My body is done sleeping.”
Me: “No, stay in bed until at least 6am please!”
3 minutes pass.
Them: “Mama, is it 6am yet?”
You see where this is going?

6:00 a.m.

One of the boys sits on the counter and makes me a coffee in the new machine my sister gave me for Christmas. They’ve already eaten their first breakfast of the day and are asking for snacks. We listen to Story Pirates and flop around our living room until 7:30 a.m. when they eat their second breakfast.

9:00 a.m.

We log onto grade 2 and Senior Kindergarten classes. Our teachers are amazing and they are working their asses off. The rest of the morning is filled with me running between two rooms assisting with class work and the kitchen—getting snack after snack after snack.

Recess

I make my two boys sprint outside our apartment. We race back and forth and then spill into the house and get back on laptops.

Lunch

We eat, gear up and take the dog to the park.

By 3:00 p.m.

We are all zombies and a bit grumpy, but somehow still laughing. This is when one of two things take place: a crazed wrestling match or a serious dance party. We play Uno after dinner, snuggle up and watch a movie or take baths and all crawl into my bed. Dog included.

Photo: Courtesy of Dani Kind

Often at some point during the day, I will take a massive mug of lavender/chamomile CBD tea into the bathroom and lock the door. Or sneak into my son’s closet and close the door for a bit of deep breathing. This is an extremely hard time, not at all what I signed up for and it all comes with guilt and exhaustion and fighting and also some of the greatest and sweetest memories.

I’ve run the gamut of emotions during lockdown and so have my kids. Somehow at the end of each day, we are able to tell one another “I love you.” And for now, I’m holding on tightly to that.

Dani Kind is a mom of two and plays “Anne Carlson”, a mom of two, psychiatrist and Kate Foster’s best friend on Workin’ Moms.

“But seriously, what’s it like to be alone? I genuinely have forgotten what it feels like.”—Jessalyn Wanlim

You know what’s great about quarantining with your baby? Absolutely nothing and everything all at once. Yes, you should be sooo grateful that you don’t miss any baby milestones, and you were able to cherish every waking moment to bond with your baby. But also…every waking moment is la-HIT-erally Every. Waking. Moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my son. Like really love him. He’s my precious little rainbow baby who’s made 2020 a lot better for the most part. But I think I’ve lost my mind, cool and marbles more times than I can count, and it’s been an absolute struggle at times not to break down and cry. And yes, I might not have allowed myself to be vulnerable during my first year as a new mom, but honestly I haven’t had time. No time to take a quality shower, maybe shave my legs, finally fix my pelvic floor issues so I can stop peeing myself when I “jump for joy” that my son slept through the night. You get it. The list is endless.

Speaking of endless, how many times have I tried to escape to Instagram only to be bombarded with a bunch of cute selfies where a rested adult is gazing out their hotel window, documenting their first day of quarantine and complaining about all the time they have to be with their thoughts? Or crack open that new book, or shoot a time-lapsed video of a freaking productive workout? What I would give to stare out that window without wanting to bang my head on it, read a book that’s not about parenting, or finish a workout during nap time. But seriously, what’s it like to be alone? I genuinely have forgotten what it feels like.

But you know what’s super fun? When your kid doesn’t rely on milk as his sole source of nutrients anymore, and now you have to figure out how to appeal to his senses so he’ll eat the damn food instead of feeding it to the dog. I mean, I’ve seen the super parents (on Instagram, go figure!) who cut up their food into cute little shapes and stuff. Like, did you already have a star-shaped cookie cutter in your Martha Stewart kitchen? Was it already in your Amazon cart along with your pre-school application when you were 14 weeks pregnant? Because this girl wants to know how you remembered to make the food look cute AND showcase it on social media AND look like you brushed your hair and gave AF.

But seriously, where did you get your super match-y jogger set? Is there an Instagram ad that I’m missing out on? Because this girl is looking a hot mess in her three-day old purple sweatpants where the elastic band is making that crunchy noise because they’re a decade old and loungewear wasn’t a thing back when I bought them.

Well, I sound like a bitter human, don’t I? I swear it’s only because I’m trying my best. And most days it feels like my absolute best is absolute crap. I’m constantly asking if I’m doing enough to help my son grow and develop into a normal child during these times. I question if me putting him in front of the TV while I take a breather is too much screen time and is going to affect him in the long run. If he only eats blueberries for lunch and dinner, am I screwing up his eating habits for life? The amount of doubts that have gone in and out of my mind during this past year have exhausted me.

While I might not remember to pluck my eyebrows these days, I do have to remind myself that I’m a new parent in a pandemic. Which is basically the equivalent of being a superhero in crunchy sweatpants. You’ve conquered a 365-day quarantine with a new child. He’s breathing, pooping, smiling, laughing and melting my heart.

So is there anything I would change about this past year spending every waking moment with my son? Absolutely not. Well, maybe less Instagram.

Jessalyn Wanlim is a mom of one and plays “Jenny Matthews”, a mom of one who works in tech on Workin’ Moms.

“What started as a fun, creative way to ‘shake things up’ turned our kids into two of the Seven Deadly Dwarfs: Slothy and Gluttony.”—Juno Rinaldi

Yes days save us, until…

The flyer for the Scholastic Book Club has always been a secret enthusiasm of mine. Something about having this tangible catalogue filled with so many options of cool new books, and at a discounted price, was mesmerizing to me.

The Babysitter’s Club, Choose Your Own Adventure Series, Charles in Charge in Paperback.

Ah, the 80’s.

Now that I’m a grown up, the Scholastic Catalogue comes for my kids but I think I get more excited than they do! This particular month my son chose a book to buy called YES DAY by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.

**Note: Apparently it’s now a movie starring Jennifer Garner, but I didn’t know that at the time.

My boy loved it. What kid wouldn’t? The whole book is based on kids asking for fun things to do, eat, play—and the only rule is that the parents have to say, “YES!”

So, when the pandemic hit early on in March 2020, my husband and I were struggling with how to make this two-week lockdown work.

A lightbulb went off. Let’s give them THEIR VERY OWN YES DAY!

The kids jumped on this idea with fervor and the night before YES DAY was like Christmas Eve. My littlest regaled me with all the things he was going to do tomorrow. Ice Cream for breakfast. Stay in his PJ’s till dinner. Watch TV all day. Eat Oreos for lunch.

And they did just that. All of it. They had free rein on the entire day.

But, as the pandemic carried on and on, so did this weekly YES DAY.

What started as a fun, creative way to “shake things up” turned our kids into two of the Seven Deadly Dwarfs: Slothy and Gluttony.

We never saw them.

And we all liked it that way. For awhile. Until we realized that these YES DAYS were doing more harm than good.

No one should be springing out of bed at 6:00 a.m. to get a big bowl of Neapolitan ice cream for breakfast. Nor should they be peeling their eyes off of their devices only when a hunger/sugar crash happened due to the devouring of a sleeve of Fudgeos for lunch.

Dinnertime consisted of four pale zombies, shovelling fatty takeout food into our gullets before heading back to the hovel/family room to indulge in yet another marathon of screen time.

I’m not sure really what killed the YES DAY. It could have been that my oldest son started talking to us solely in “memes” or the fact that we realized we had been going through the children’s Tylenol like it was water to ward off all the headaches and upset tummies.

No one was sleeping well. Everyone was irritable and our family room had taken on an odour of its own.

One weekend we broke it to them. We decided to call it all off.

To be honest, the kids put up very little resistance to cancelling YES DAYS. It mostly was a huge relief.

I think one of the lessons we learned is that kids left to their own devices really will eat junk for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And they really will spend 16 hours on a screen. No one was saying “Ah, I think I better round out these Oreos with a salad.”

We realized we still need to helm the ship.

But that’s not to say that in the future we won’t revisit the sleeve of Fudgeeos for lunch idea.

Just for old times sake.

Juno Rinaldi is a mom of two who plays “Frankie Coyne”, a mom of one and realtor on Workin’ Moms.

Season 5 of Workin’ Moms premieres Tuesday, February 16 at 9pm (9:30pm NT) on CBC and CBC Gem.

The post The cast of Workin’ Moms on their IRL lockdowns with kids appeared first on Parenting Boss.

From a kid-friendly treatment for winter skin to blue light-blocking glasses that will help protect their eyes during all of that e-learning, parents will love these new baby and kid products coming to stores in 2021.

Our inboxes are flooded with the latest and greatest in new parenting products every day. From exciting new toys and clever innovations for baby to tools that help make raising kids just a little bit easier (and fun!), our editors have selected some of their favourite launches this month.

1. Try-It Kit from Esembly

Photo: Indigo

“I’ll be honest: I was too tired (and too overwhelmed) to attempt cloth diapering when my kids were babies, and I still feel a little guilty about that. But the trendy design and gorgeous bold colours of this starter pack probably would have hooked me. The Try-It Kit from Esembly is available in Canada through Indigo and comes with three absorbent organic cotton inserts, one waterproof diaper cover, a special detergent for washing the inserts, and a wet bag with waterproof compartments for storing soiled diapers when you’re out and about. If you want to learn more about what’s involved when you launder cloth diapers at home, Esembly has a handy how-to video.”—Ariel Brewster, senior editor

From $135, indigo.ca

2. The Kaya Birth Stool

Photo: Kaya Birth

“Like a lot of women, I’d never really considered a home birth until COVID hit. If this is your plan in 2021, you might want to consider investing in one of these moulded plastic stools developed by an industrial designer and a sculptor. Ergonomically designed to support your body during labour (whether you want to squat, kneel, rock or just stretch out), the stool was inspired by researching traditional birthing practices from around the world.”—Simone Olivero, senior editor

$230, kayabirth.com

3. Flexitol Happy Little Bodies

Photo: Flexitol

“I tried this line of products on my seven-year-old, who struggles with eczema and super dry skin (we’re talking sandpaper, when it’s at its worst). The Happy Little Bodies Eczema Moisturizing Lotion noticeably softened his rough skin (when we were religious about applying it), and the Eczema Relief Cream helped calm the flare-ups. A good complement to his prescription medicine.”—Kim Shiffman, editor-in-chief

From $16, well.ca

4. Lovevery Montessori Placemat & Utensils

Photo: Lovevery

“Lovevery’s subscription boxes have totally changed playtime in my home—less plastic and less toys overall. Now they’re tackling mealtime with the clever Montessori Placemat and Utensils set, which foster fine motor skills and independence. The set pairs child-sized stainless steel cutlery with an easy-to-fold organic cotton napkin (the dotted fold lines are brilliant!) and a silicone placemat that nurtures routines by showing kids exactly how to arrange their place setting. Bonus: you can toss the mat and cutlery in the dishwasher and the napkin in the washing machine. It might not get your toddler to sit at the table for the entire meal, but maybe a few extra minutes?”—Jessica Pollack, deputy editor

5. Clean Age deodorant

Photo: Clean Age

“My first exposure to deodorant as a teen was a baby powder-scented aerosol spray that left greasy stains on the arm pits of my t-shirts. This chic-looking stick from a mother/daughter duo not only smells great (choose from Unscented, Waves, Fresh or Citrus), but it’s also free of aluminum and baking soda and comes in recyclable packaging. The formula is also specifically designed for nine- to 18-year-old bodies when smell-inducing hormones are at their height.”—Simone Olivero, senior editor

$13 US, clean-age.com

6. The Clay Date Kit

Photo: Sproutworks

“Who doesn’t love playing with clay? This awesome kit comes with 24 different colours of clay and sculpting tools to make all kinds of fun projects only bound by your kid’s imagination. Bonus: the clay is also gluten-free and air dries. So next time you sit down to play with your kid, why not make it a clay date?—Kevin John Siazon, assistant editor

$35, sproutworksconnection.com

7. Purelan Lanolin Cream

Photo: Medela Canada

“The last thing a new, sleep-deprived mom needs on her plate when she’s nursing every few hours is to remember to remove her nipple cream before each feed. Enter Medela’s Purelan, a single-ingredient salve made from medical grade lanolin and nothing else—so it’s safe for mom and baby. Not only will your cracked nipples thank you, but this jack of all trades can also be used on dry lips, hands, cuticles, heels, elbows and to protect your kids’ skin in cold weather.”—Jessica Pollock, deputy editor

8. Hello Bello Training Pants

Photo: Hello Bello

“Recently, the diaper and kids’ cosmetics company from Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard launched their own version of disposable Pull-ups or Easy Ups here in Canada. The designs are cute and the sides are stretchy and super comfy—they almost feel like cloth undies, compared to some of the scratchier brands out there. The training pants even worked as overnight diapers for us, with no leaks. The sizing ranges from 12-24 months (the smallest size) to 4T-5T (the biggest size). Our only quibble: my three-year-old hated the tape tab on the bum of the diaper (it’s intended as a way to fasten a dirty diaper shut) and he insisted we tear it off each one.”—Ariel Brewster, senior editor

$12/package of 18 to 27 diapers, hellobello.ca

9. Pregnancy Tracking on Garmin Connect

Photo: Garmin

“If you have a Garmin smartwatch, you probably already use the Garmin Connect app, which helps you track and analyze your health and fitness activities from your device. They’ve now added another tool to the app: Pregnancy tracking! You can log symptoms, track baby movement and, when it’s time, track contractions. Man, things have come a long way since I was last pregnant in 2013!”—Kim Shiffman, editor-in-chief

More info on connect.garmin.com

10. SuperPaint with Air Purifying Technology by Sherwin-Williams

Photo: Sherwin-Williams

“If you’re planning to repaint your home or  a kid’s room or nursery, this paint will help you breath easier—literally. Using air-purifying technology, this paint contributes to better indoor air quality and helps reduce VOCs while eliminating odours and inhibiting the growth of mold and mildew. Now that’s a Super Paint!”—Kevin John Siazon, assistant editor

From $58, sherwin-williams.ca

11. Screen Saver glasses

Photo: Babiators

“Since the beginning of 2021, it feels like my four-year-old has been on screens non-stop—hello, virtual school! To make me feel a little less guilty, I picked up a pair of these glasses from Babiators, which help you protect your kid’s eyes from overexposure to digital screens with blue light blocking lenses. Bonus: she looks totally adorable in them and they’re covered by the Babiators guarantee if the glasses get lost or broken.”—Simone Olivero, senior editor

$30, babiators.ca

The post 11 new baby and kid products our editors are loving this month appeared first on Parenting Boss.

From sprouted-grain bread to superfood smoothies, these yummy breakfast staples get the day started right.

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so why not serve up something extra special? Help them rise and shine with these low-sugar, protein-rich packaged foods that you can add to the mix of whole foods you serve (like eggs!) and will keep them fuelled until lunchtime.

1. Crofter’s Just Fruit Spread Organic Wild Blueberry

Photo: Crofter’s

Made from wild blueberries picked in Quebec, this organic, non-GMO spread is made with 33 percent less sugar than a traditional preserve. $5, well.ca

2. The a2 Milk Company 2% Partly Skimmed Milk

Photo: a2 Milk

This milk contains only a2 protein, which are believed to be more gentle on the stomach than ordinary cow’s milk. $6, sobeys.com

3. Stonemill Bakehouse Honest Wellness Plant-Based Protein Bread with 11 Whole Grains

Photo: Stonemill

Packed with protein and fibre, this whole grain bread is allowed to naturally ferment for up to 12 hours before being baked in small batches to provide a unique flavour and texture. $4, walmart.ca

4. Silver Hills Organic Sprouted Power Full Seed Ahead

Photo: Silver Hills

We know that whole grains are good for us, but think of sprouted whole grains as upping the ante to provide even more nutritional value. $5, loblaws.ca

5. Good Dee’s Pancake & More Low Carb Baking Mix

Photo: Good Dee’s

If you’re worried about the hollow calories in traditional pancakes, this sugar-free, gluten-free mix is made with almond flour and will offer a filling alternative. $16, switchgrocery.com

6. Evive Smoothie Cubes

Photo: Evive

Don’t have the right ingredients to make a flavour- and nutrient-packed smoothie? These frozen cubes have been prepared in advance—and kids will love the different flavour options. All you need to add is water, milk or coconut water and then give them a shake. $11/3-6 portion pack, loblaws.ca

7. La Presserie Cold Pressed Juices

Photo: La Presserie

Made in small batches from raw fruits and veggies, these cold-pressed juices have no added sugar, no added water and do not contain preservatives. $30/pack of 6 bottles, lapresserie.ca

8. Nature’s Path Envirokids Organic Turtle Splash Cereal

Photo: Nature’s Path

The strawberry and chocolate mini turtles are made with organic navy beans, fruit and veggies with no artificial colours or ingredients. Teach kids about the environment and the importance of saving sea turtles (each box contains a free turtle adoption) as they munch on this crunchy cereal. $5, realcanadiansuperstore.ca

9. Little Northern Bakehouse Gluten-free Everything Bagels

Photo: Little Northern Bakehouse

Topped with the classic mix of poppy seed, onion, garlic, and salt (minus the sesame seeds to keep them allergy-friendly), these bagels deliver a satisfying, New York-style chewiness you’ll love without the gluten. $8, grocerygateway.com

The post 9 packaged breakfast foods your kids will love appeared first on Parenting Boss.

The post 5 things to know about how your taxes change with children appeared first on Parenting Boss.

Purchases and adoptions of dogs have spiked since last March, when we were asked to stay home. And as I’ve said before, while this is great news for dogs—especially those who’ve been sprung from shelters—lots of families are discovering that dog ownership isn’t always a walk in the park. As a canine behaviour practitioner, I’ve received lots of questions from new dog owners since COVID-19 began. Here are the most common ones, and some answers.

My new rescue dog loves us but seems nervous and freaked out by my toddler. I can’t expect a two-year-old to be quiet and still all the time. What should I do? 

New rescue dogs need a lot of time and space to adjust and learn to feel safe. Toddlers are really hard for a lot of dogs, even ones with ideal genetics and socialization histories. Toddlers move in ways that are completely unpredictable, they can be loud, and they often have really noisy toys, too. While most humans might like to be hugged when they’re sad, the vast majority of dogs do not.

Dogs and children should always be supervised together and this is especially true for toddlers. It is important that your dog has access to a safe space to get away from your child. For parents of infants and toddlers, I highly recommend checking out Family Paws. They have some great free resources to help parents understand exactly how to manage dogs and very young children safely together. They have a fabulous online webinar on dogs and toddlers and a network of certified Family Paws Parent Educators who can provide 1 on 1 support.

Our puppy was so gentle when we got him at eight weeks, but now he’s eight months old and it’s like he’s completely ignoring all the training. And now he is nipping at my kids, which makes me wonder if we should rehome him.

At eight months, your dog is a teenager. The teenage and early adult months are a time when dogs can have more difficulty regulating their emotions and it’s normal for teenage dogs to seem like they’ve forgotten the lessons from puppy class. Fears and phobias tend to emerge in this stage. Many dogs also change in their social preferences; it’s normal for puppies to love absolutely everyone and for adolescent dogs to become pickier about their human and canine friends. The world can be pretty overwhelming for teenage dogs and owners need to be aware that stress builds on top of stress. “Trigger stacking” happens when dogs are exposed to many things in the environment that make them excited, worried, or afraid. Teenage dogs need their humans to help them navigate these developmental changes, make them feel safe and protected, and to use gentle methods to teach them what is expected of them.

Nipping the kids can mean a few different things. Some dogs might nip at kids who are running by because they’re overly excited in the situation. There’s also fear-based nipping. And dogs might also nip or bite when they’re guarding resources or territory. The key to successful training is understanding the underlying motivations for the behaviour. When there are concerns about aggression, it’s especially important to get the help of a qualified trainer or behaviour practitioner.

Active supervision is key here and it’s important to create a safe space where your dog can get away from the commotion of kids. A “doggie den” will help keep everyone safe together.

Your dog will need you to teach him what is expected. Many dogs need their humans to teach them how to be calm. This is especially true in busy households—when there’s lots of commotion, dog’s stress hormones can be chronically elevated. You can help your dog regulate his emotions and behaviour by providing lots of opportunities for relaxing activities, and low-key excursions where he gets to engage in doggie meditation (i.e. sniffing). One of my favourite things to teach dogs is how to settle on a mat. Kikopup has some great videos on their YouTube channel to help people learn to train their dogs. Here’s a good one on teaching a calm settle.

It’s also important to consider the humans. How well do the kids understand your dog’s stress signals? Are the kids engaging in behaviours around the dog that are provoking the behaviour? Teaching kids how to read canine body language and interact respectfully with dogs is a big job, but we owe it to our dogs and our kids to do this well. There are lots of great books and tools on this. I recommend the Dog Decoder app, the book Doggie Language, and, for younger children, the Dog Detective colouring pages by Family Paws Parent Education.  I also suggest parents check out the resources at thefamilydog.com/stop-the-77/.

You mentioned that you’re wondering about rehoming. Decisions around rehoming can be terribly difficult. Saying goodbye to a beloved pet is very painful for kids. Often, it’s awful for dogs. They are social animals who form strong attachment bonds with their families. Unfortunately, rehoming isn’t as easy as people think. Most people do not want to adopt dogs with emotional baggage and behavioural problems However, the bottom line must be safety. When families are unable to keep their kids safe with their dog and/or the dog safe with the kids, it can be best to find the dog a more suitable situation. If you do decide to rehome, working with a reputable rescue organization can give your dog the best possible chance of finding a safe and suitable home.

My dog keeps humping my three-year-old. How do I get him to stop?

Dogs hump for a lot of different reasons and a big one is overarousal, meaning excitement rather than sexual. When your dog starts to hump, the best thing to do is to calmly redirect them to another activity. This is a great time to give them a stuffed Kong, engage your dog in a “treat scatter” (toss some treats around the floor), or another enrichment activity. You can also look for signs that predict humping is about to happen. Does it happen mostly when your son is excited? When your dog has just come in from an arousing run at the park? If you can start to predict the situation and see warning signs, you’ll be able to gently redirect your dog before the humping actually begins.

My kids are a bit rough with our dog. They put their hands in her mouth, pretend to “ride” her like a horse and grab her fur. She is a total sweetheart and completely tolerates it, so do I need to make my kids stop?

Any dog can bite. A dog can put up with uncomfortable and scary behaviour for a long time and then “snap.” According to the Stop the 77 campaign, 77 percent of dog bites to children come from a family dog or a friends’ dog. Most parents do not think this will happen in their home. This is a problem for kids and families, but arguably an even bigger problem for dogs as dogs who bite kids often end up relinquished and euthanized.

There need to be some clear ground rules around interacting with the dog. Supervision is key. Kids who might make a dog feel afraid or uncomfortable should not be interacting with dogs at all unless there is supervision. This is another situation where management is really important to consider. Creating a “doggie den” where your dog is able to be left alone and relax will be important for her. And you’ll need to put lots of work in with the kids to teach the kids to understand and respect your sweet dog’s body language. Your dog will need you to set firm limits with the kids to make sure she can feel safe in her home.

My kids love petting all the different dogs at the off-leash dog park. What should I teach them about interacting with new dogs?

I believe we should be teaching all kids—not just those who have dogs—how to interact safely with dogs. While young kids are most often bitten by the family dog, recent research suggests that kids in the 10-14 year old age group, bites most often come from dogs outside of the family.

The big thing to teach kids is that dogs should always get to choose whether or not they’re touched. Most kids are taught to ask the dog’s owner if they can pet the dog, but it’s important to also ask the dog! Dog’s Trust in the UK has some great handouts to help parents teach their kids dog safety and I like to use their approach. Here are the steps:

1. Approach calmly to the dog’s side and stop at least an arm’s length away. Humans like to greet face to face, but head on greetings can make dogs nervous.
2. Ask the dog’s owner if you can pet the dog. If the owner says yes, you can say “hello.” But here’s the trick: Don’t stick the hand out. The “sniff test” that most of us were taught is actually an unsafe way to greet a dog. Dogs’ noses are so powerful they can detect cancer—we don’t need to help them smell us by putting a hand in their face.
3. Wait for the dog to approach. If she does, great! Dogs prefer to be pet gently on their side or shoulder. For most dogs, being pet on the top of the head is scary. If the dog doesn’t approach, then she’s saying “no thank you” and it’s time to move away calmly.
4. Be sure the dog can choose to move away at any time. If she does, then let her go on her way.

Your children will need you to support and give them reminders about their interactions with dogs, but it’s worth the effort. You’ll help keep them safe around dogs and might even be giving them tools—like a strong understanding of the importance of seeking consent before touching—that can help them be safer in their future relationships with other humans.

We’re having a lot of problems with our dog and want to hire a trainer or behaviour practitioner.  There are plenty in my city, but how should I choose? What should I be looking for?

Dog training and behaviour work are unregulated professions. This means that anyone can hang out a shingle claiming to be a dog trainer! In the last decades, science has taught us so much about dogs. We understand a lot about dogs’ emotions, how they learn, and what they need to flourish in their lives. Unfortunately, this means that a lot of what many of us were taught about dogs has been proven wrong. For example, we used to think that dogs needed humans to dominate them and be “alphas”, but that’s not the case. There are still lots of trainers and television celebrities peddling punitive approaches to dog training, even though we now know that dogs learn best using positive rewards like toys, treats, and play. It’s especially important that families with children use positive methods. Kids can learn a lot from their relationships with dogs; instead of teaching them to use force and fear to control other beings, we can use positive methods to teach our children that relationships with those we love should be based in mutual respect, listening and care.

This article by Zazie Todd gives a detailed overview of different kinds of training approaches and what to look for in a trainer. The BC SPCA has created a helpful guide for people looking for trainers. Their list includes things like: ensuring the trainer uses positive rewards and humane, science-based methods; that they ensure training is fun (and not stressful!) for both you and your dog; that the trainer will take time to teach you about dog body language and behaviour; and they treat both you and your dog with respect. Families might have some of their own criteria–for example, you might want to find a trainer who is willing to include children in the training. Finding a trainer that fits for you is like finding the right teacher or psychologist–the right match is important.  I recommend interviewing trainers before signing on to make sure they’re a fit. And if, at any point, you feel that your dogs’ mental health and well-being are compromised by the training or it’s not a fit for you, don’t be afraid to try someone else.

The post Is your new dog nipping, humping or playing rough with your kids? appeared first on Parenting Boss.

The post A new-parent’s non-boring guide to life insurance appeared first on Parenting Boss.