Is it ok to yell at your kids?

A very common question that parents ask is it every ok to yell? The short answer is no. But there’s a but. In general, yelling should not be a part of your parenting, but there are a select times when it’s ok to yell. It’s ok to yell is your child may be in danger and you need to stop them. It’s ok to yell if they are far away and you need them to hear you. It is not ok to yell at them when they’ve spilled the milk or didn’t live up to your expectations.

Yelling at kids isn’t an effective parenting technique as shouting at child only elevates the situation and doesn’t allow you to teach your child to do something different. Yelling at a child means that a child has to decide whether to fight or flight. If they fight, they’ll most likely start to argue with you. Increasing the frustration. If they choose flight they will retreat and you’ll feel like nothing was accomplishing which will also increase the frustration.

How to stop yelling at your child is done by using better communication. Most of problems that parents encounter are a result of not being able to communicate clearly what they expect/want from their child. When parents communicate effectively it will allow them to show their child the new behavior that they want. When you yell at your child you are giving them permission to respond that way when they are stressed or upset. It teaches them that it’s ok because you’re yelling. So, how to stop yelling at your child if you find yourself yelling at them a lot?

We recommend learning–and using–the skill of Effective Communication. Effective Communication shows you to pay attention to how your child is responding. This allows you to help teach–not punish–them.

Parenting without yelling is possible when you use the behavior skills taught on Smarter Parenting. Using these skills will build your relationship with your child.

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